But He's a Pirate!
by Kihin Ranno
Summary: Boys just don't get it.


But He's a Pirate!  
Written for the Sailor Moon Monthly Fanfiction Challenge  
December Challenge - Shitennou - Day Twelve: Pirates  
by Kihin Ranno  
1/1

Daisuke was crouched in front of Mamoru's extensive movie collection (which had grown in size over various holidays as no one ever knew what to get for him, so it tended to be films by default). He glanced over the titles, saw one that was all too familiar, and plucked it out of the stacks with a role of his eyes. "Could one of you girls explain something to me?" 

"That depends on what needs explaining," Rei rightfully pointed out from her position on the corner of the couch, where she was subtly avoiding Ryu. 

"What is the appeal of Johnny Depp?" 

Minako gasped and bounded out of her seat (where she was not so subtly not avoiding Takehiko) over to Daisuke. She ripped the DVD out of his hands, her eyes sparkling in that way that made people very nervous. "There are pictures of Johnny in the room and no one told me?!" 

Rei looked at her and deadpanned, "You gave him that movie last Christmas, Minako-baka." 

Minako turned and stuck her tongue out at Rei. "He always exchanges what I give him, so I didn't think it would still be here, Rei-BAKA!" 

Mamoru blushed lightly and slumped in his seat, much to the amusement of the other men in the room. 

"Is that true, Mamo-chan?" Usagi asked, eyes wide and voice mildly chiding. 

Mamoru cleared his throat. "Well, I wouldn't _always_…" 

Minako scoffed, waving a hand in his general direction as she couldn't be bothered to look up from the picture in her hands. "Please, Mamoru-san. I gave up on finding a good gift for you long ago. I usually just stand in the middle of the store, spin around three times, and pick up the first thing I see." 

A series of stifled chuckles could be heard throughout the room, but Mamoru looked thoughtful. "That explains so much," he murmured in wonderment. 

"Now that we've covered all that, could someone answer my question?" Daisuke asked, quickly growing impatient. 

Minako looked at him as thought he had just asked her what zero plus zero was. "You mean… you don't get it?" 

Daisuke shook his head. "I wouldn't be asking if I did." 

Minako looked at him in confusion. "But… it's Johnny Depp." 

"I know." 

"Dressed as a pirate." 

"I know." 

"With _eyeliner_ on." 

"I **know**," Daisuke said, completely fed up with her. "But that doesn't mean I understand the appeal." 

Minako stood there staring at him for what could only be described as a worrisome amount of time. Suddenly, she stood up on tiptoe and bellowed, "MAKO-CHAN!" 

"The dishes aren't done yet, Minako-chan!" Makoto called back out. "You know I can't stand a dirty kitchen!" 

"But it's not even your kitchen," Mamoru muttered. 

"I heard that!" Makoto called out, making Mamoru slink even lower into his seat. 

Minako ignored them. "Daisuke-san doesn't understand the appeal of Johnny Depp!" 

"WHAT!" Makoto flew out of the kitchen in a blur, landing just in front of Daisuke with a terrifying glare on her face. "What do you mean you don't get it?" 

Daisuke looked between Makoto and Minako nervously, certain that they would start beating him for his ignorance any moment now. "I just… don't." 

"But it's Johnny Depp!" 

"Yes, I know." 

"Dressed as a--" 

"Yeah, we did this already," Ryu said, folding his arms across his chest. "Anyway, you should really know better than to come between women and their Depp, Daisuke-kun. I'd hate to see them ruin Mamoru's carpet." 

"Oh, Mako-chan knows how to get out blood stains," Minako said. 

Daisuke swallowed. "You know, that doesn't make me feel better." 

Rei turned and gave Ryu her worst look, which as always, was returned with a smirk. "You shouldn't generalize people like that. I'm a woman, and I couldn't care less about Johnny Depp." 

Ryu was about to say something back at her, but Takehiko cleared his throat loudly and glanced over at Mamoru meaningfully. It wasn't much, but it was enough to make Ryu stay silent for the time being. 

Minako rolled her eyes childishly. "But Rei-chan, you don't care about men at all!" 

Rei simply shrugged, refusing to say another word on the matter. 

Makoto pondered the problem for a few moments and then snapped her fingers, an epiphany dawning. "I've got it! Ami-chan can explain it!" 

Minako and Makoto both whipped around to face Ami, who had now completely hidden her face behind the book she was reading. Knowing that she had been paying attention in spite of the novel, Minako pleaded, "Come on, Ami-chan. You know you're better at this sort of thing." 

Ami fidgeted uncomfortably in her seat. "I… I really don't think that I'm the best--" 

"Why are you hiding behind that book, Ami-chan?" Makoto asked, a smile spreading across her face. 

"…I'm not hiding." 

Minako caught on quickly. "I think you are hiding, Ami-chan." 

"And I think I know why," Makoto added. 

Ami fidgeted some more. "I really don't know--" 

"You're blushing!" the pair chorused before lunging towards Ami and pulling the book out of her hands. Once they managed to get it free from her grip, everyone could see how red she was. Ami immediately tried to pull the book back into place, but Makoto held it too high for her to reach. 

Ami reached over and pulled the pillow out from under Rei's arm and proceeded to use that to hide her face, but Minako had mistaken the movement for the start of a pillow fight. She hit both Ami and Rei in one fell swoop, pulling them both into what was certain to become an all-scale cushion war. Not one to miss out on the fun, Usagi leapt into the fray, ignoring how Mamoru shook his head in a world-weary sort of way and Ryu and Takehiko chuckling at their antics. 

Daisuke would have been amused as well had he been paying attention. But he was too busy studying the cover of the DVD again, a quizzical expression etched on his face. 

"And **what** is the deal with Orlando Bloom?" 

This time, all he got was a pillow thrown in his face. 


End file.
